the smashing pumpkins is an alternative rock band that was formed in 1988. their frontman and main songwriter is billy corgan. billy corgan had an incredibly difficult childhood and has spoken up multiple times about how he has been suicidal. due to this, one could say that his best work comes from a place of despondency and suffering. many of the smashing pumpkins’ songs have the reoccurring themes of suicide, child abuse, self-hatred and heartbreak. their most unforgettable pieces come from extreme vulnerability which results in raw and emotional songs.
to begin with, their song disarm released in 1994 makes corgan’s pain into a heart-breaking masterpiece. this song discusses child abuse by using poetic metaphors with a lot of weight behind them. the song opens with the line “disarm you with a smile”. billy corgan’s dad and stepmother were physically abusive his entire childhood and there was not much that he could do to defend himself. he has talked in interviews about how he could be angry and violent, but he refused to as he wanted to break this cycle. thus, one can interpret this line as billy saying he is going to take their power away by continuing to be happy and positive rather than giving in to resentment. next, the chorus begins with “i used to be a little boy, so old in my shoes”. this could be a reflection of how he grew up way too quickly and had to deal with mature problems robbing him of his childhood. another line that stands out in the chorus is “the killer in me is the killer in you”. this is a dark and deep line that could be taken in different ways. an interpretation of it is that corgan feels like all the rage and worst traits he has are the ones he learnt from his parents. all of these metaphors make the audience feel touched and melancholy. the instruments in this song sound cinematic and dramatic making the song beautiful regardless of its sad message.
moreover, born from billy’s deep self-hatred is one of their catchiest songs titled ugly. in the first verse, the listener comes across the lines “i was born so beautiful, but now i’m ugly. and i rot in my skin, as a piece of me dies every day.” these lines make the audience understand corgan’s feelings about himself. they are talking about how he was a beautiful baby but has gotten uglier everyday since. this could be referencing how exposure to the world can slowly makes us evil and impure. by saying a piece of him dies every day, he could once again be revisiting the idea that his innocence is being chipped away more and more. the chorus’ first line is “i’m good enough, but i don’t care”. this shows that no matter how much external validation he gets and how much “proof” there is that he is good enough, (in his case this could be the number of fans that love him or huge record sales) he does not feel worthy making him disregard it. this song makes the audience feel helpless as they cannot do anything to make corgan feel better. however, it may also make them feel understood and less alone if they struggle with self-loathing too. this song sounds angsty and has a memorable beat making the song addictive.
lastly, one of their most famous songs today, is about the day he wants to commit suicide but deals with this in a sarcastic tone. it starts with “today is the greatest day i’ve ever known”. at first glance, this seems like a positive line, however when looking at the rest of the lyrics it becomes clear that he uses this line as a joke. although this line was intended to be sarcastic, it has a double meaning as it can also be seen from the perspective of a suicidal person who genuinely believes the day in which they kill themselves is the greatest as their pain will finally end. this line often confuses the audience as they can become stuck on the false positivity and not see the true meaning of this song. the first verse is “i wanted more than life could ever grant me. bored by the chore of saving face”. this demonstrates that he feels like life will never be able to make him feel happy or like he has everything he wants. as well as this, it explains how he no longer cares to present himself in a socially acceptable way nor does he care for putting on a mask and pretending he is fine. in the second chorus, there is the line “can’t wait for tomorrow, i might not have that long”. this line talks about how he cannot wait another day to kill himself as he cannot resist the urge for that long. this makes the listener realise how desperate corgan is to end his life. despite the underlying message, the song sounds soothing and even delicate compared to some of their other work.
in conclusion, the smashing pumpkins have distinctly different sounds and effects on the audience in each song. nonetheless, they are all connected by their obscure lyrics which make the songs feel unfiltered making their fans feel engaged and personally involved with the music. this goes to show that the band’s biggest strength is their ability to create unapologetically real songs that include the bad and the ugly further reinstating that their best work is fuelled by despondency.
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